“Sorry, I have some onboard maintenance I gotta take care of.” aka Daddy™ duty for Din Djarin
“even though sometimes, we have to give up the things we want the most.”
—may parker, spider-man 2 (2004)
get to know me: spider-man + favourite male character; for @seek-rest
Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Mr. Parker.
Yeah, but those are the best kind.
Creativity, versatility, intelligence. These are the traits that define a great swordsman. And these are the traits that define you.
illinformedcomicfan
I see you asking, my devout follower. Begging, praying that I give you the answer to this elusive, long-running mystery. Well, it’s been about a week now. That’s basically a year in these COVID-19 times, so I figure it was time for an answer. Sit down my friend. This is not simply sPidEr-MaN wItH tHe cOlOrs fLipPeD. Let me introduce you to one of the greatest and most underrated characters in Spider-Man comic book history. Or in comic book history as a whole, really if you want to go that far. I present, Web-Man.
Now I see you asking.
Who the fuck is Web-Man?
He wonders that himself every day, as well.
Web-Man’s a weird character. At first he seems pretty simple. You saw the image and probably thought “That looks like an evil version of Spider-Man that has the colors of the suit flipped”. And that’s correct. It’s that simple. But the circumstances of his creation and history (or lack thereof) are what interests me most and how crazy they are, so let’s take a trip down… well not memory lane because I’m sure you didn’t even know he existed until now. He represents such a weird phenomenon of superhero comics history that I love explaining him.
The Trope of “Opposite Bad Guy With Different Colors”
This is a well-known trope in superhero stories. It’s a great storytelling and visual element that’s easy for audiences to wrap their head around. There’s a good guy. There’s a bad guy. The bad guy looks pretty visually similar and tends to have the same base powers as the hero but they’re eviiiiil. It sounds cheap, and to some extent, it kind of is, but opposite villains are so fun that no writer, or fan can resist them (especially when they’re done well). There’s so many examples of this that it’s almost absurd. Every superhero you can think of most likely has an opposite.
-Zod is Superman But Bad
-Bizarro is Superman But Bad (sometimes)
-Superboy Prime is Superman But Bad
-Cyborg Superman is Superman But Cyborg Bad (You get the point by now)
-Reverse Flash is Flash But Bad
-Black Adam is Captain Marvel (Shazam) But Bad
-Owlman is Batman But Bad
-Sinestro is Green Lantern But Bad
-Malcolm Merlyn is Green Arrow But Bad
-The Frightful Four are The Fantastic Four But Bad
-The Crime Syndicate is The Justice League But Bad
The biggest example of mass-media cape stories these days, the MCU, tends to pull this trick often, and most of the time they get a lot of shit for it regardless of how well made the actual movies are, and rightfully so in some cases.
-Iron Monger is just Iron Man But Bad
-Abomination is Hulk But Bad
-Whiplash initially has the cool electric whips at the start but then he gets a suit of armor so he just becomes Iron Man But Bad BUT Also Has Whips
-The Winter Soldier is, to some extent, Captain America but bad (This isn’t a slight against the movie or Bucky’s character, just another example)
-Yellowjacker is Ant-Man But Bad
-Kaecilius is Doctor Strange But Bad (and Mordo is going to be Doctor Strange But Bad 2.0 in the sequel)
-Killmonger is Black Panther But Bad
SPOILER FOR WANDAVISION
-Agatha is Scarlet Witch But Bad
By now no further explanation is needed. You already knew that there’s a very common trope of The Good Guy But Bad. Thing is, when most people think of Spider-Man But Bad, they tend to think of Venom, who is sort of the gore body horror sci-fi 80s version of Spider-Man But Bad. At some point he gets enough of his own lore and enough of his own comic series that he kind of loses that, but that original context is always tied to him. There’s never really been a straight, 1:1 opposite of Bad Spider-Man that’s taken off in popularity. Tarantula sort of fits the bill? Maybe? Not really? Especially with that name and get-up.
But the concept of Web-Man, Spider-Man But Bad With The Colors Flipped, sounds so simple and surefire that it’s a wonder why he never took off. You’d also believe that, due to it being SO PAINFULLY OBVIOUS, he was created early. On the contrary, it took about 15 years after Spider-Man’s introduction for Web-Man to hit the pages of a comic story. The most wonderful (or most horrendous, depending on how you want to see it) part of him is that he’s not main 616 Marvel universe canon.
Spider-Man But Bad!… of Earth-57780
Created as a tie-in to the Spidey Super Stories segment of The Electric Company’s children program, this comic ran for a good few 8 years, in what was basically a more over-the-top and zany version of Spider-Man for the kid audience of Electric Company. (Fun fact, the Spider-Man of this reality was part of the Spider-Verse events that have been a part of Spidey comics for a few good bit of the 2010s now.)
In August of 1977 with #25, Marvel editor/writers Jim Salicrup, Nicola Cuti and Bill Mantlo, along with artist Win Mortimer introduced Web-Man in the lead story “Spider-Man and Web-Man”.
Created by Doctor Doom as an evil clone of Spider-Man (a couple years after The Original Clone Stuff, and some 17 years before The Clone Stuff Everybody Hates), his deal is pretty simple as you can see from his masterful and devilish creation by Marvel’s resident supervillain. (Side note, I love the sheer power visible in the panel where he breaks the containment tube).
Endowed with Spidey’s knack for quips, fast zingers and the ability to piss off pretty much everyone he runs into, Web-Man robs an armored car to get Spidey’s attention. What follows is some pretty cheesy but endearing joke-exchange and fast paced action. They go back to Doom’s lab, and the best part of the story? He’s not even the only Web-Man in it.
Yes, that’s right. It’s not just ONE Web-Man we’re dealing with. It’s TWO WEB-MEN.
Unfortunately, in a pretty uncharacteristically Spidey move, he brutally and violently viciously maims and murders the two misguided souls. Ok, its not really that graphic or serious in the story, but those were real dudes with like, meat and bone and feelings. And now Spidey’s recklessness has cost them their life. Pretty uncool, Peter.
After that, regular Spidey beats Doom and presumably sends him off to jail. There’s no follow up to the Web-Men or how precisely they ceased to exist beyond “Spider-Man broke the mirror”. A fun and breezy story to kill time with. What boggles me the most, is that in the 41 years since, he hasn’t come back a single damn time in literally anything.
Requiem For A Web-Man
(Before you ask, yes, I made that edit. I have a bunch of them)
Web-Man never returned to Spidey Super Stories. He was never introduced in a 616 Spider-Man comic. He’s never been in one of the cartoons, movies, games, or external media. The closest thing we have to a mass-media version of him is his design is one the featured alternate suits in the great Spider-Verse movie. Even then, that’s all it is. A funny nod in the background. I even doubt that the producers of the movie actually intended that as a Web-Man, Earth-57780 reference more than they just went “Haha wouldn’t it be funny if one of his suits just had the colors flipped?”
And it’s that lack of return that both baffles me, and that I understand. He’s not exactly the most creative idea. His design isn’t new or a twist on the classic costume. His status as a villain doesn’t really achieve anything that guys like Venom and Carnage already don’t do, and better than he does it. There’s really no reason to bring him back in a big story. Then again… does there really need to be?
In a genre with talking dinosaurs, mutants, like 7 different Superpeople, legions of super-heroes, gods, dragons, magic, vampires, aliens, stories that ask us to pretend that Darkseid, Thanos, and Mongul are different people, but most importantly, where there’s half a dozen stories (one of them an Oscar winning movie) all focusing on the core idea of “There’s infinite versions of Spider-Man with countless variations meeting up!”, I find it hard to believe that there’s really no plausible way to bring him into the spotlight again.To quote his character bio on ComicVine (which I swear a million times I didn’t write, but I love) “fans are eagerly waiting for a new appearance where he returns as a hero, not a villain.”
Web-Man is such a fun and absurd example of the Opposite Villain, that I hope he at the very least gets referenced, or lord willing, actually make an important appearance in a Spider-Man story before I die. He deserves to.
(Credit to my good pal Nutz, who introduced me to Web-Man so many years ago. I thought he was joking and that he wasn’t real, but he ended up leading me to find one of my most favorite forgotten characters in comic history, and one I proudly use as my internet avatar everywhere I can.)
